Flying Solo
Here I sit in the Shannon airport all by my lonesome. Who travels alone? That’s just crazy. Having accomplished the feat, I want to write about it. Like Cole’s lyric for my Ireland sing states, “You can sail alone…but then again you’re never alone. Never alone!”
I really could have used some help with my navigation. In a way I guess my family was with me at least as the voice in my head pointing out all my mistakes. Their voices yelled, “ Hey don’t go that way, that’s the wrong side of the road. That’s a one way street. That’s a red construction light. You’re going to get us killed Erin! etc. You get the picture.
Jeff, Hailey and my sister are excellent navigators and would have done way better than my sans cellphone efforts-following maps, following signs, asking locals anywhere I could to point me in the right direction. Miraculously I made it to each destination safely minus a few bumps and scrapes on tires and wheels.
I felt alone when I had no one to hear my complaints! The rental car was by far the most stressful part of the trip. I tried to rent a wreck as suggested but unfortunately since I bought the plan online, it was harder to make changes. Instead I was given a brand new hybrid Jeep. Though I paid extra for the comprehensive coverage again, because they told me my online coverage wouldn’t work with them, I soon learned why they did not recommend getting the tires and wheels covered. What a racket! Of course their not going to cover that since the stupid Americans will over correct and pull to the left and clip the curbs! I got use to “playing chicken” with the oncoming cars since a possible head on collision would be covered but clipping the curb would not be. Makes sense…NOT!
One strategy to employ on those impossible narrow roads was going as fast as I could down the middle into I saw an approaching car. Then I’d pull off to the side and wait for my turn to pass. I was extremely impressed with his patient, cooperative, and downright helpful my fellow drivers were. One driver when seeing I was going the wrong way on the roundabout, personally taught me the right way and escorted me to my proper turn off a few minutes away. Talk about literally going the extra mile for someone!
One of the obvious downsides about traveling alone is not having anyone to share experiences with. That’s part of what makes fun activities fun. It’s the interplay,
-the reactions and interactions between participants and their shared experience. Since I didn’t have that, I shared virtually through Instagram, or at least that’s what I thought I was doing. My daughter showed me how to post a story and save it to my highlights. Sometimes I made videos with others in mind wanting others to see what I was seeing or hear what I was hearing.
It’s interesting how cell phones can isolate or keep us connected with people. Right out the gate, I forgot my phone charger and was mercifully gifted a lightening cord by my seat partner, Tina from New Jersey. She works customer service for Alaska Airlines. I enjoyed hearing about her life and having a nice conversation during our flight from Chicago to Newark .
I loved doing a nightly FaceTime call with my mom. Since she was at home during the afternoon, I could share the details of the day’s activities. It was like having her in Ireland with me! I used all my international roaming minutes within the first two days so I heavily relied on the Wi-Fi from my air bnb host.
Though I have maintained radio silence without cellphone minutes, I heard from so many friends and family before I left wishing me well. People like my sister, my best friends, my in-laws, my children. This boost was the wind beneath my wings giving me the extra support I would surely need on my solo flight.
The friendliness of strangers also helped me feel less alone. Right when I got to Louisburgh for the Sean Nos performance, I felt awkward and stupid. Everyone was speaking Irish and had come with their family and friends. This was a locals event-definitely not designed for the American tourists. But here I was sitting alone, looking haggered without a stitch of makeuo on having come directly from the airport in Shannon. I was the first one there to the event as well in this very old cultural hall. People slowly arrived with a total of about 50 or so people. It was a pretty intimate gathering of people who seemed to know one another already. What was I thinking? I thought I had made a mistake on coming. What a loser!
Fortunately the Sean Nos event headliner, I need to look up his name, came up to me personally to introduce himself. When learning I had prepared some songs in Irish to sing at the pubs later, he invited me to sing them during this event alongside the super experienced, accomplished Sean Nos singers. Each singer stayed seated while singing. Some swayed along, joined in singing a few words, did the equivalent of “snaps” with poetry and clapped at the end. No one was filming anything for anybody. I felt like it would have been extremely inappropriate to bust out my cell phone. It was artistic almost sacred singing. It was also endurance singing as these songs seemed to go on forever.
I broke form a little in that I thumped the rhythm while singing which definitely was not done but that’s how I practiced it. Everyone joined in the chorus and listened as I told them my story and how my ancestor, Peter O’Malley had been born in a Louisbrugh in 1852 and my excitement to visit their city and attend the festival. Some people came up to me afterwards and made supportive , friendly comments. One man stated how almost everyone in the town was related to an O’Malley somewhere along the line. I was happy I came but I quickly checked that off the list. Besides I needed to get to my air bnb before nightfall.
I thought I was staying in Westport as my hub. I was mistaken, I didn’t check the details of my booking. It was actually about 30 minutes away in a place between Newport and Mulranny right on the highway. Mary, my host was surprised to see I had come alone for the booking was for 2 people. Back in November, I had been hopeful some family member would come with me. But hey, more food for me! and I used that breakfast food for both lunch and dinner as I explored Ireland.
Mary made me feel less alone. Her dog,Pip, accompanied me on my walk along the greenbelt( even though he herded me like one of their sheep in the wrong direction. Mary let me hold her baby lamb. She brought me out to her fields to feed the sheep and told of her interesting and productive life. She shared her choice to retire as an administrator at the Shannon airport and her new life being married to London entrepreneur, extensive land owner, sheep farmer, sea scallop harvester and community business leader. They had much scuba gear lying about from their past business as well and their son’s experience as a Navy Seal. Wow. Mary gave me space and privacy but also made sure I had what I needed.
Liam and his wife Margaret made me feel less alone in the lively city of Westport. We meet at the Octogon in the town center for a lovely cup of hot chocolate and a 2 hour conversation abbot ourselves and possible family connections. Liam is a cattle farmer from Ballingrobe and his wife works with people with disabilities. I was scatterbrained when sharing my family research but they were still interested in possible O’Malley connections. Andrea struggled to b communicate clearly stocking over my words as I tried to present my research in a coherent manner. I sent follow up emails in hopes of clearing up the picture with his important family history. They were so friendly and kind to basically a stranger from America.
I would love to report hiw the spirit of my ancestors led me to their graves and helped me connect the dots on my O’Malley line saying to the 1600’s but alas. No such luck. I walked the graveyard by my lonesome and saw the numerous gravesites honoring numerous OMalley souls. Sometimes I thought to myself that this whole trip was an expensive fools errand-all made in vain for my own vanity’s sake. I didn’t see my name in lights but I did see it etched in stone. That’s gotta have some staying power right?
While exploring Clare Island and getting a key to the Abbey, I met a Paidrach OMalley that may or may not be related to my 2 step DNA connection Patrick OMalley 1820 from the same place. By the way you pronounce his name like you are saying,”paw Rick”-just so you know.
When snooping around the family research center in Ballinrobe, I saw behind the imaginary velvet curtain when accidentally opening a door to discover a rag tag band of elderly researchers clacking away on their dated computers. They were perplexed when I had breached their complex interrupting their lunch hour. Like the wizard of Oz telling me to “come back tomorrow!” I returned after walking around the city until the appointed time. Gerald found some very interesting records pointing to a specific place in Louisburgh(Devlin) with a separate death records for a James and Winifred OMalley. This very well could be my relatives! If so, then yes my ancestors helped me find them or should I say the fine folk of the family research center even without an appointment.
Now don’t show up alone without an appointment at the Ashford castle. Not only will you be cast out but you may feel a bit rejected and excluded as well. I’m sure that’s not what the meticulous traditional Royal looking guard intended., but surely he could have communicated in a kinder fashion. Or at least given me a handy tip. He didn’t know my past Thomas O’Mallley cat ways that aren’t too deterred by the “keep off my property” vibe. My English style riding boys were also made for walking! It was super easy to find another way by parking in town and going in through the exit which absolutely everyone does to walk about the grounds for free.
Most of my activities were designed for solo pursuits. Riding the bike on the great western greenway. Riding the e-bike around Chase Island. Exploring the beach. Doing family history research. Hiking Crough Patrick. Meditive walks on the Ashford estate woods. Shopping sprees. Driving down country roads. Riding a ferry. Taking baths and eating Cadbury chocolates.Sprawling across the bed and hogging all the covers. Sleeping well. I did not feel awkward at all during any of these activities. I preferred being alone and the great freedom of really going where I wanted to go and doing what I wanted.
It is such a balance between solo pursuits and social connection. I will not be traveling alone to Ireland again but I’m grateful for this unique experience. My most important souvenir is the wonderful knowledge gained through study and personal experience. Though alone, I am invariably connected to the land and the people of Ireland.
We come into this world on our journey alone. When we pass the portals of death, we will make that journey alone as well. But hopefully on each side of these travel experiences. There are loved ones to greet us, meet us, bond with us and care about our solo pursuits and join together with us in common pursuits. In a way, the very reading of this blog dear reader makes me feel less alone and that perhaps you even care somewhat about me and my solo pursuits. I am never alone, never! My people- past, present and future make my journey on this planet joyful. Thank you!
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